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hooja.daddi

...But i just turned the damned heat *down*
if you're cold, put on a sweater!
...But i just turned the damned heat *down*
if you're cold, put on a sweater!
Picard Wtf
  • 2
...'Moustache'...?
Oh - you mean my punch-deflector.
...'Moustache'...?
Oh - you mean my punch-deflector.
overly manlyman
  • 2
And then i says to her, i says, i think i'm sensing some of your 'global warming'
...in my trousers...!
And then i says to her, i says, i think i'm sensing some of your 'global warming'
...in my trousers...!
Rich Men Laughing
  • 5
The 'little engine that could'
COULDN'T.
The 'little engine that could'
COULDN'T.
-Sudden Clarity Clarence
  • 1
The 'alphabet song' and 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star'
have the same melody!
The 'alphabet song' and 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star'
have the same melody!
-Sudden Clarity Clarence
  • 3
They put artificial lemon in my lemonade
...And real lemon in my dish soap
They put artificial lemon in my lemonade
...And real lemon in my dish soap
-Sudden Clarity Clarence
  • 20
So this neutrino enters a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll ya have?"
"Nothing," replies the neutrino, "i'm just zipping through."
So this neutrino enters a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll ya have?"
"Nothing," replies the neutrino, "i'm just zipping through."
Chemistry Cat
  • 1
I don't always act in action movies
But when I do, it's opposite Liam Neeson in 'taken 2'
I don't always act in action movies
But when I do, it's opposite Liam Neeson in 'taken 2'
The Most Interesting Man In The World
  • 1
I Don't always misplace an airliner
But when I do, i put that shit where *no one* can find it.
I Don't always misplace an airliner
But when I do, i put that shit where *no one* can find it.
The Most Interesting Man In The World
  • 7
that ain't my damn kid
...but we're not leaving this school parking lot until his parents pick him up.
that ain't my damn kid
...but we're not leaving this school parking lot until his parents pick him up.
Successful Black Man
  • 0
nearly drowned in kiddie pool at park
lifeguard chick who brought me back was smokin' hot!
nearly drowned in kiddie pool at park
lifeguard chick who brought me back was smokin' hot!
Success Kid
  • 4
'over the river and through the woods'
*is* the way to my grandmother's house!
'over the river and through the woods'
*is* the way to my grandmother's house!
-Sudden Clarity Clarence
  • 1
knowing you're likely gawking out the windows at *other girls* while i'm at work was upsetting me.
so, i made a *special place* down in the basement - just for you - for whenever i'm not here to keep my eye on you.
knowing you're likely gawking out the windows at *other girls* while i'm at work was upsetting me.
so, i made a *special place* down in the basement - just for you - for whenever i'm not here to keep my eye on you.
Overly Attached Girlfriend 2
  • 1
i don't like it when you finish first. So from now on, sex is going to be a better way - *my* way...
Now; bend over and show princess how close to your ankles y0u can reach.
i don't like it when you finish first. So from now on, sex is going to be a better way - *my* way...
Now; bend over and show princess how close to your ankles y0u can reach.
Overly Attached Girlfriend 2
  • 1
...the puppy?
oh, he was taking up *way* too much of your attention.
...the puppy?
oh, he was taking up *way* too much of your attention.
Overly Attached Girlfriend 2
  • 9

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