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amos.parker

i'll have you know
that i've been left soggy in the sink for days and need to be soaped out and then put in the microwave for sixty seconds before I'll stop making your hand stink
i'll have you know
that i've been left soggy in the sink for days and need to be soaped out and then put in the microwave for sixty seconds before I'll stop making your hand stink
Tough Spongebob
  • 1
i'll have you know
that i'm too tired to tell you what I know
i'll have you know
that i'm too tired to tell you what I know
Tough Spongebob
  • 1
I do not forever drink down fermented and fizzy barley and hops
yet when I choose to do so i swallow with savor the beverage with not just a single letter x but a double dose of that fine third from final letter
I do not forever drink down fermented and fizzy barley and hops
yet when I choose to do so i swallow with savor the beverage with not just a single letter x but a double dose of that fine third from final letter
Joseph Ducreux
  • 1
in the identifying personage word of the man who sewed the seed,
the sprout that grew from the seed and its destined mother nature egg, and of the most pure and noble ethereal spirit otherwise known as me.
in the identifying personage word of the man who sewed the seed,
the sprout that grew from the seed and its destined mother nature egg, and of the most pure and noble ethereal spirit otherwise known as me.
God
  • 1
had the best of intentions
and it's been a hell of a show!
had the best of intentions
and it's been a hell of a show!
God
  • 1
you say all religions are the same?
here's your golden ticket to hell!
you say all religions are the same?
here's your golden ticket to hell!
God
  • 1
you say all religions are the same?
hell disagrees
you say all religions are the same?
hell disagrees
God
  • 0
one does not simply
walk into heaven
one does not simply
walk into heaven
God
  • 1
i don't always intervene in the affairs of man
but when i do my actions often make no god damned sense
i don't always intervene in the affairs of man
but when i do my actions often make no god damned sense
God
  • 1
yo dawg, i heard you like heaven
so i put a soul in your body so you could crave heaven while you dug for hell
yo dawg, i heard you like heaven
so i put a soul in your body so you could crave heaven while you dug for hell
God
  • 1
y u no
pray to me?
y u no
pray to me?
God
  • 1
not sure if futurama cancelled permanently
or if i can bring it back again
not sure if futurama cancelled permanently
or if i can bring it back again
God
  • 1
i way more interesting than
dos equis man
i way more interesting than
dos equis man
God
  • 1
if philosoraptor so smart
why he not prophet in the bible?
if philosoraptor so smart
why he not prophet in the bible?
God
  • 1
chuck norris is
pussy compared to me. Just read bible.
chuck norris is
pussy compared to me. Just read bible.
God
  • 1

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