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patrickneseaintded69

not sure if he wants to take me on the bayern kurve just for the hell of it
or because he just wants to have my ass in his lap
not sure if he wants to take me on the bayern kurve just for the hell of it
or because he just wants to have my ass in his lap
Futurama Lila
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fresh out of the shower, hair slicked back, wearing cologne, teeth brushed, fresh breath, just shaved, clean face, best clothes... not a soul in sight
slobby clothes, breath that could make an onion cry, messy hair, no deodorant, 5:00 shadow, haven't showered in 3 days... the hottest girl i've ever seen is breathing the same air as me
fresh out of the shower, hair slicked back, wearing cologne, teeth brushed, fresh breath, just shaved, clean face, best clothes... not a soul in sight
slobby clothes, breath that could make an onion cry, messy hair, no deodorant, 5:00 shadow, haven't showered in 3 days... the hottest girl i've ever seen is breathing the same air as me
Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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expects to bowl a good game
too distracted by girl in lane next to you, you bowl a 50, she bowls a 150
expects to bowl a good game
too distracted by girl in lane next to you, you bowl a 50, she bowls a 150
Socially Awkward Penguin
  • 0
what if atheists were sent by god
to educate all the hateful, ignorant christians
what if atheists were sent by god
to educate all the hateful, ignorant christians
Conspiracy Keanu
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what if i told you
your obliviousness to signs put out by girls is the cause of your involuntary abstinence
what if i told you
your obliviousness to signs put out by girls is the cause of your involuntary abstinence
What If I Told You
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if gawd didn't want me fappin' to photos of mah cousin
he wouldn't a made her so gaddang purdy
if gawd didn't want me fappin' to photos of mah cousin
he wouldn't a made her so gaddang purdy
Redneck Randal
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so i told that teachin' lady
i don't speak english, i speak 'murican!
so i told that teachin' lady
i don't speak english, i speak 'murican!
Redneck Randal
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moving away, probably won't see friends ever again
probably won't make any new friends
moving away, probably won't see friends ever again
probably won't make any new friends
Socially Awkward Penguin
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everybody's tweeting about #sluttyconfessions
and i'm just sitting here reading them all like "i shook a girl's hand once"
everybody's tweeting about #sluttyconfessions
and i'm just sitting here reading them all like "i shook a girl's hand once"
Spiderman Desk
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shaves for date
first time razor has been touched in months
shaves for date
first time razor has been touched in months
Foul Bachelor Frog
  • 1
she's your grandma?
still a threat
she's your grandma?
still a threat
Jealous Girl
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reads 'good girl gina' memes
feels sorry for the guys who created them because they're all going to die alone
reads 'good girl gina' memes
feels sorry for the guys who created them because they're all going to die alone
Good Girl Gina
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asks girl out, she says yes
"it must be a trap!"
asks girl out, she says yes
"it must be a trap!"
Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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cute girl asked me to hang out
must be a trap!
cute girl asked me to hang out
must be a trap!
Socially Awkward Penguin
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romance movies warp women's ideas of love
the same way porn warps men's ideas of sex
romance movies warp women's ideas of love
the same way porn warps men's ideas of sex
-Sudden Clarity Clarence
  • 0

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